You were really dreaming about...noodles?

We all seek that which we don't believe in.
Wherever you were, I wanted to drop my priorities and change directions for you.
Just to wake up smiling.
What little success I've tasted, the victory I've sampled,
I would have thrown it away, spat in my ambition's face,
For the change to turn over and see you sleeping there.
Dropped dreams and plans just to see us both committing.
Sweet smiles. Staring. Reassurance.
Your consideration kept me in balance,
The warmth I felt kept me grounded.
But happy was the last thing I felt, so I know this wasn't right.
Years I wasted keeping my mouth shut,
Instead of giving you a reason to open yours.

I believe in God because I know what it feels like,
To love someone who has no faith in you.
The only difference is, you don't need me.

I'd love to be able to miss every single thing about you, but I can't.
So if the years should pave a wall between our hearts,
And our hearts grow old and we drift apart -
Know that I'll promise to miss our youth,
And always long for the chance to restart.

Imagination.

Imagine you don't let life get in the way.

You called me today and you made a year of hardship and struggle go away in an instant. The slightest thought of your love creeping back into me. A heavy heart weightless by a phone call.

Do you call me because you feel sorry for me? Do you call because you think about me and regret overcomes you? Do you call because you were just having a good day and needed to remind me of what I don't have to top it off? Imagine you call because you actually cherish friendship - imagine you return calls and text messages.

You made me realize that I haven't longed for something in so long, I forgot how to be depressed. Maybe you're cherishing what we have left. Imagine that is actually the case. Imagine you grasp I like you more than the idea of a pretty face.

I'm pretty content with my life. But the part of me that still wants to be back in that lonely beach town, waiting for you to come home so I can wake up next to you...I want to make that person disappear. Erased, and sanded down.

Imagine you read this.

Why?

Warped Indianapolis 2010

Crawl of Death during ETID was anti-epic, but commemorative nonetheless. Amarna pwnd morning spot. Repped Indy right. FYS & SYG - best performances all day. Emmure was good too. Stoking on the dubstep covers. Parkway Drive killed it, period. Shot the breeze with Matt from A Loss For Words. Check them out this fall with The Ghost Inside, First Blood, Evergreen Terrace, and Deez Nuts. Oh, and Bridge Nine Records All Access, n00bs. Ran into Adrien Edge for the second time at Warped Tour in a year. Best thing all day was seeing Natasha Koldewey. Oh, and I ♥ my pit partner Ryan Kelley.

Patience is a virtue.

Has it really taken me years to realize that the only catch is better than every chase? All the stupid attempts at clearing my head and filling a void with the idea of some pretty face - one I could never love as much as they'd love me - its catching up to me and leaving with all I deserve. Too anxious to find her, too anxious to live life too fast. Be what I fabricated in my mind as 'happy' all too soon. This has kept me sleepless too many nights.

The concept of waiting is far too important for us to discard as we continue to look for someone who doesn't want to be found yet. And that is where every social problem we face comes from. Impatience.

I can't even recall the last time I was honestly and sincerely happy with someone, who I benefited from emotionally. Someone who made me excited to see them, and not the pretty face.